Saturday, April 19, 2014

Meet 'Lil Sis

"I need a Kleenex."
"WHOA! You sure do! Hang on."
"That's my snot."
"I see that."
"Well, it looks like shoestring snot."

You know you're getting sick, when your cup of morning coffee and evening glass of wine both taste like crap.
Since I'm not a parent, I haven't a clue what y'all do when YOU are sick.  Me? I turn off my phone, grab a glass of room temp water and the bag of Ricola lemon throat lozenges, crawl into bed and pull the comforter over my head. I stay there all day.  But how the f@!k do parents deal with feeling like shit when they have 2 youngsters to take care of; especially two that are also sick!  

This darling, a fiery, little redhead was sicker than an entire ER room. Her welcome gift to me, 
I suppose.
Meet 'Lil Sis. 


I felt guilty taking this shot.
Ok, so, how best to describe my new friend? 'Lil Sis is, quite frankly, going to give me a run for my money. She's all bang. Very expressive and communicative of her needs.
She doesn't like to stay in one position for more than 90 seconds. She despises lumps in her avocado. And, you will hold her if you plan on maintaining your sanity. She's direct and head-strong.
And she's not really too sure about the nanny.

"I demand puree, not chunky."

"You gotta be kidding me. This is who my parentals chose to leave me with?"


When things get rough; when they start going to hell in a hand basket... there's only one person to call.  She's kinda like the "special forces" unit...

The Cousin's calm, cool and fearless. She's out of diapers now and wearing "big girl" panties; insistent that she only needs help wiping for poop not the pee. She knows how to get dressed all be herself, and when you suggest that the owl goes on the front of the shirt, she firmly disagrees and wears it her way.
I bribe her. 
I tell her that if she helps me calm 'Lil Sis, she can choose a video and watch  "a little bit of it."
She accepts the assignment and works her magic so effortlessly.  

"This is how you do it, Valerie."

"My sissy should receive your paycheck today."

Voila! Now can we have project time?

"You just gotta know what she likes, Valerie."

Project time was the most peaceful f*@!king time of the entire 8-hour day. First, we used "real" artist chalks, dipping them in water, creating suns and grass and purple mountains.  Next, we made a robot from a recycled juice box and named her Dinah.

Meet Dinah.
When nap time ends, project time ends and my blood pressure rises.
So, I make good on what I promised and let The Cousin choose a video. Ok. I may be out of touch, but can someone please inform me as to what the hell is so awesome and healthy about the blockbuster hit, Frozen?
Because watching it, with babe in arms to avoid a meltdown, I am perplexed as to the point?
There are so many bad messages for little girls (and boys) in this movie, that the list would run off the page.
The whole prince thing, locking a kid with differences in her room her entire life, a charming boy falls in love and then lies about the whole thing, greed and deceit erupt with a man wanting to take over an entire kingdom... WOW! And then of course, there's that damn song that The Cousin must have sang 20 times...

"If you hold me 24/7, I will give you some much needed relief."

"Valerie, wake up. 'Lil Sis is crying and I want a cookie."

I remember meeting Sweet Pea at this age. She was fierce and mighty, just like 'Lil Sis.
And stubborn! 
But we made it through, didn't we, and we'll make it through this one too!  Sweet Pea's mom is now home with her, but I still see her every chance I get.
Yep, we'll make it through; The Cousin, 'Lil Sis and me... god willing and the wine box doesn't run dry.

"Miss me now?"