Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Show Pride In Your Double Wide

I got carded at World Market the other day, for a $7.99 bottle of Cab that had
a rooster on the label and a screw-off top.
It shan’t surprise you that I was thrilled beyond words!
I practically leaped over the counter to kiss the cashier.
I asked her if it was store policy to card everyone that looks under 100
and caught a quick glimpse of her facial expression as she resisted answering
my stupid question.
I gladly handed her my license. She looked at my picture on it and I could see it caught her attention. “What does your tee shirt say?” trying to read the caption
on my shirt. DMV photographers don’t win awards for their portraits, as you know, and I was relieved she wasn’t chuckling about the photo itself.
It says, “You Mess With Me, You Mess With The Whole Trailer Park.”
I respond proudly.
Her friendliness took a turn; she took a step back and bagged my wine.
“Have a nice day.” Her tone turned slightly judgmental.

What is about trailer parks that creeps people out? I didn’t always
dig the park life, but I never entered a frightened, creeped out state of being. People are scared as hell when you mention you live in a trailer park.
I tried saying “modular home community” for several years to soften the blow,
but finally I just gave in to the unavoidable fact:
I’m trailer trash!
I'm a "trailer" like Jacob Simmons from South Carolina who found an image of Jesus Christ on his Walmart receipt this week. Now that’s what I’m talking about!
Take a look at this short little ditty of Simmons and his fiancée, Gentry Lee.
Be sure to push the pause button to take a closer look at Gentry’s crucifix earrings.
The Lord himself is calling these two. Right after they left an inspiring sermon at their church and headed for Walmart for God only knows what, and he probably does, the couple were honored with the message.
Damn, I always wish for a direct line to above, but it always happens
to other folks.
“It was both shocking and breathtaking.” Jacob was reported as saying.
Hey, breathtaking for me is an orange sunset, but the ink on this receipt looks a lot like the smudged face of Charles Manson.

It’ll take some research on my part, but I’m betting money Jacob and Gentry
live in a “modular home community” on the outskirts of some town in South Carolina.
I’m pretty certain of that and if they don’t, they eventually will.
I also wouldn’t be surprised if they’re 2nd or 3rd cousins as this is a common occurrence in parks I have lived in. There’s no judgment within the park community and I do like that.
You gotta have a sense of pride: pride in your double-wide, pride in who you are and where you came from, pride in the bargains you get each and every day.

Misfits end up in trailer parks; different folks who stand out in a crowd of fancy people. Folks who travel the world believing in guts, gun control and macaroni and cheese from a box. Folks who would never in a million years buy their grandchild a breast-feeding baby doll that makes sucking sounds when the doll's mouth gets close to a child's shirt. Folks like you and me.

Have a day to remember!

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