Friday, November 30, 2012


David Bowie sings one of my all-time favorite tunes.
Changes is Bowie's wise exploration down the road of growing older.
He wrote it at the time his wife was pregnant with their son, so he had big changes
going on in his life.  What I didn't realize, when looking up info on the song, was just how much controversy there is about the chorus lyrics. WOW.
Huge, lengthy articles, blogs, research discussing whether Bowie sings "Face the strain" or "Face the strange" or "Face the stranger".
Some of the remarks are down-right volatile!

All 3 interpretations work for me.  When change surrounds you, encompasses you,
It most certainly can be a strain or strange or an actual stranger, i.e. the messenger.
There is no dispute about one thing, though, and that is that Bowie says, "Face it".
Every day, each of us, faces 'the strain' of change. At times, it's painful.
It's an ache that might be so deep and personal that even our closest allies are unaware
of what's really happening.
We face it quietly and we get through it.
I face 'the strange' a lot.  In fact, I deliberately throw rocks at it's window;
wanting 'it' to come out and play with me.
And as for 'the stranger', I've faced them too. Often times, with an open heart because
many who I've encountered, have witnessed much more in their lifetimes than I have.
Therefore, I have a lot to learn from them.  But sometimes, I face a stranger and if I'm a bit worked up, I've been known to offer them the universal sign for "naff off!"
Sing it any way you like.  Ch-ch-ch-Changes...

Change happens to be in the air just about everywhere you look;
the autumn breeze, crisp and new.
The leaves turning from frog-greens to brittle crimsons and browns.
The way hearts turn the corner, only to find their summer joys have slipped away...
Change, unavoidable as it can be, can also be embraced, coveted and often times,
held in highest regard.

Change is in the air at Sweet Pea's house too.
Babies change from week to week. I didn't know that.
Two weeks ago, she was awkwardly "scoot-crawling" and yesterday she was full-on,
straight-up crawling like a wind-up robot.

Just last week, "boob milk" was her only entree.
This week, the menu's changed.
Oatmeal and organic sweet potatoes have been added and she can't get enough. She devours them like she's been on a hunger strike for a month.

SHE LOVES THEM YAMS!  And you can't shove the BPA-free plastic spoon in her mouth fast enough.
She loves them so much, I'm changing her name from Sweet Pea to Sweet Potato for the sake of this blog.

There's modification at the 'changing table' as well. Sweet Potato does not feel she needs to be there, therefore, fights, struggles and flip-flops more than Mitt Romney.  Changing her diaper is reminiscent of an alligator handler grappling with a gnarly beast.

But in all seriousness, (that is if seriousness in fact exists in me)
I felt myself changing this week too. Perhaps it was because we were by ourselves.
(The Cousin was at home with a little bug.) Whatever it was, Sweet Potato and I bonded
like two hogs in mud.
Meaning, there were times, when the swear words that usually dance around in my head were completely absent. Or maybe I'm adapting, adjusting, changing, letting go! Dunno.
But face it folks:
One is easier than two.
Hell, zero is where I'm at, but at least with one, you don't break a sweat or find yourself cramming your face with Hostess GMO products as much.

Another change in this little tot's life...
She's starting to understand the significance of the two-letter word "N O."
And I'll tell you why.
This child loves to approach, grab, tug on, conquer and eat various objects that could cause
damage to her person and cost me my job.
The main items of interest are cable cords, lamp plugs, heater grates and the ficus plant.
Yesterday, she insisted on going for these things numerous times.
She was the most persistent with the lamp cord.
She's made her way to it, then proceeded to do the "split-second-grab-pull-and-eat" motion before I could scoop her up.
Since I come from a long line of enablers, I'm not taken seriously.
I'd look into her baby blues and say, in a firm but pushover manner, "N O."
I'd then move the lil buckeroo all the way across the room, and give her plenty of cute, interesting baby toys to distract her... You guessed it!  Back she'd go for the damn lamp cord.
About the 3rd or 4th time, she'd stop, in route, look back over her shoulder at me,
and smile this kinda "ha ha ha" smile.
I'd say, "N O" and I'll be damned if the little shit kept going.
I call this her "I think it's funny to hear you say, 'No' and then do it anyway" crawl.
                             After I redirected her one too many times, she alerted me of her
                                                            undeniable unhappiness.

This crying thing really messes with our day and my mood.  So in an attempt to take a cheery photo together, I couldn't seem to set the camera and auto-timer up successfully.

But actually, here's some too...

Now, I wouldn't go as far as to say that this kid is totally changing me.
But maybe partially.

Change appears in so many forms; a career move, a box of Clairol, weight gain or loss, the weather...
But more importantly, such things like a closed heart opening, an unexpected
admission of wrong-doing, an unforeseen apology.
These are the precious ones; the ones that matter.

The weather changed today, and with it, my mind-space.
Winds from the North, sounding as fierce as Sweet Potato's cry, and then the rains, powerfully deliberate.
When it downpours with such a venegence, I tend to go inside myself.
My thoughts touch the tipped corners of melancholy and reflection,
and I'm usually best left alone.

But you see, I'm not a girl who easily adapts to change. 
It's taken me 19 years to actually believe that I'm an insulin diabetic, and even then,
I still leave the house without snacks in my satchel.
When the doctor diagnosed me in '94, I told him he was "f@*#ing wrong".
Then I drove to Winchell's and bought a baker's dozen.
Stubborn about change?
Obviously, my lack of knowledge, combined with my extreme stuborness, convinced me that I was far more intelligent than my doctor.

This little girl; this future leader of America, is changing too. She's eating sweet potatoes.
She's babbling in a language all her own.
She's  pulling herself up; standing under the "big" table and feeling so proud of it!
Now that's cool.

But even if we could stop change, would we want to? Now that's something to ponder.

Here's some wisdom on the subject:

“And that is how change happens. One gesture. One person. One moment at a time.” 
~ Libba Bray, The Sweet Far Thing

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. 
Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ~Lao Tzu

“The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

“Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.”  ~ John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

"Peace out."~tpg

1 comment:

  1. TPG, so much wisdom in so short a blog. I continue to be amazed at your depth of character, which you often mask under the guise of humor. It's there, deep within. I've seen it and witnessed it personally and therefore, attest to its presence. Glad Sweet Potato is moving us all along with her Ch Ch Ch Change. Perhaps it's autumn, perhaps it's living a long life, perhaps it's getting a glimpse of what's to come. I loved the quotes at the end of your writing. I'm going to re-read them again and again. Thanks, Friend. See you soon.