Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Quittin Time

Sometimes 5:00 p.m. can't come soon enough. I say this because last week, I had to dig deep to make it to quittin time.  It was my own doing, as the week prior had been an exhausting week, filled with hills and valleys.
Can't really blame that on the dynamic duo.
No matter what profession one is in, and I do consider the position of nanny as an esteemed profession; No, matter what it is, you need to be on your best game in order to make it to the beautiful hour of 5:00 p.m. Kitty, who was also barely hangin on, and I needed coffee by 2:30.
"Gawd, Is it 5:00 yet?"
Back in the day, when I got my degree and thought I'd live and die in an elementary school classroom, prior to the plethora of other roads I took including that of  "Revered Trailer Park Manager, I was a dreamer and a believer that one never use television, videos or electronic games to entertain a child.
It was my firm and judgmental belief, that in doing so, you were "medicating the child. It was what "bad" teachers did, what "bad" parents did, what "bad" nannies did.  You know all those lazy asses that couldn't or wouldn't interact with children in a healthy way. You'd NEVER see me put in a DVD! Are you f*#king kidding me?
"I can save your ass today!"
Meet Caillou, my new BFF.  When there's a meltdown, either theirs or mine, I plug this bad boy in and suddenly silence fills the air as sweet as fresh whipping cream. Ahhhh...
With Caillou taking charge, everything I believed in goes way the hell out the window.  With Caillou at the helm, Kitty and I can take a brief, much-deserved coffee break.
She becomes catatonic. Yes, mesmerized.  And for a few precious minutes, I am free to clean off the changing table and get the Playdoh out of my hair.   
Caillou is actually a meaningful, healthy kid.  (That's how I justify putting him on.)  Seriously, he teaches many lessons and we can only hope The Cousin is getting them... Lessons around sharing, helping with chores, using the toilet.  Ah, yes, using the toilet.  Seems the sticker bribery technique is not really all that it's cracked up to be. Last week I asked The Cousin,
"Do you want to use the toilet? "
No response.
"You can give it a try!"
No response.
"There's some cool zebra stickers if you try."

"No, thank-you Wallery."

At least the kid's polite about it. 
So I put this episode on.  You know I went through the whole spiel about what a big boy Caillou is and how good he must feel when he uses the toilet.  She stared at me as if she was hanging on my every word. I thought I had her for a second.  Then, she asked for a cookie.

Caillou is like the perfect kid. He always makes good choices. Always makes friends easily. Always shares his toys with those friends.  His parents are perfect too, Doris and Boris are their names.  Although, Doris is usually too busy doing "mom-like things" to play with Caillou, Boris usually finds time for his son.  They're heterosexual, of course, although when I look at the dad, I sometimes see an androgynous woman and I begin wishful thinking, that Caillou and his sister have lesbian moms.  
I'm a weirdo, I know.  But check 'em out!
Bonnie and Barbara with their two kids.

You know nap time is as effective as Caillou.  I actually got them both to fall asleep at the same time last week; miracle # 1, and if I produce a second, the Catholic Church will canonize me to sainthood.  
I have to admit, they wake up in such sweet little moods.  It's as if, during their slumber, the lavender sparkle fairies, from the Good Ship Lollipop, sprinkle all kinds of niceness dust and cousin chumminess all over their bodies.
"I'm so refreshed."

"I'll pretend I'm mellow just to make them happy." 

I got her that tee shirt when she first popped out of her mom.  Little did I know "Future NFL Linebacker" would have been a more appropriate logo.  Sweet Pea does like books.  She really digs ripping the pages and eating the covers best of all.
Here's a few fun games we played after nap...

Smelly Feet.
Smelly Diaper.

And the traditional Hide-n-Seek.
"Shall we have bananas for snack, girls?"  My weak attempt to break them of the cookie habit.
"YEA!!!!!" they yell in harmony.  So we head to the kitchen, as bananas require a booster seat and a high chair to alleviate spot clean-up later.  No sooner than I give 'em their healthy bite of potassium, Sweet Pea gives me a gift to remember.

"Gee thanks, doll. Is it quittin time yet?"

"What's not to love?"

Let me tell ya, that face can get away with Dexter-style murder.  She'll charm the pants right off ya and 5 bucks also, to have them dry-cleaned.

And this one's charming too...

And oh, my dedicated readers, I hope you feel as if you know these two lovlies. Because, believe you me, they're so worth knowing.
See you on the flip side!


  1. Love reading about your nanny adventures! These little ones are lucky to have you!

  2. Caillou to the rescue! Every mom, nanny, and baby-sitter can relate to having a "Caillou moment" of relief and salvation. Must admit, that family has strange names...Cailou must have been named by his dad, Boris. I agree with you...he certainly doesn't look like a "Boris" to me either. Sweet Pea's library tee shirt and your linebacker comment are a hoot! But those mashed bananas...ug! The napping cousins catching a few winks? priceless! On to next week.....