Tuesday, April 12, 2011

White Vinyl Fat Man Trucker Mud Flap Decal Sticker and Other Topics of Interest

I was in the parking lot at CVS yesterday and saw this mud flap decal on the rear window of a cowgirl rig. It resembled one of those distasteful white playboy silhouette decals that the dudes in Prunetucky have on their 4 X 4's but slightly different because this particular decal had this fat-bellied cowboy who’s sagging in all the wrong places. The dude is leaning back as if tanning and sort of strutting his large, unattractive sack of stuff, in the same pose as the dreamy girl bunny. And I thought to myself, “Why didn’t I design this ‘effin decal. It’s genius.”

The park’s a sleepy hollow tonight. All septic tanks have been pumped. The Jehovah’s Witnesses have gone home. The Meals On Wheels vehicle with the dead battery has been jumped. Aww. Vita bona est on Flamingo Lane. Yes indeedee.
One would think that I’d fine solace and that my mind would move into idle and coast through the evening like a kid on her skateboard going downhill, wind in her face, but no. My brain is on over-drive, fifth gear, going up-hill at 100 mph!
In fact at 2:45 a.m., I was anxiety-ridden, wide-awake and surfing the guide. Came across a show entitled Eliminating Stress and Anxiety so I clicked the enter button on my remote. An ad blinded me through the dark; an ad for Midwest Center, a place to “free one of life’s stresses and those spacey feelings like you’re just not there or you just gotta run.” According to Lucinda Bassett, the center’s founder, there is hope.
Folks, you must take 4 minutes out of your day to watch the You Tube of Lucinda that I’ve attached here on my blog site. This woman is the new Angela Merkel. (the first woman to become chancellor of Germany and in fact displaced our very own Condoleezza Rice as No. 1 on Forbes list of 100 Most Powerful Women) In fact, Lucinda might very well be crowned the next female prophet of the Christian world replacing Huldah.
It took time for me to locate Huldah. Actually, it’s not an easy task to locate powerful female figures in Christian, Jewish or Muslim faiths, but
I won’t go there.
Ms. Bassett has really found Nirvana through her work at her own center and I for one have placed her photo on my sacred women's altar where I light candles and burn sage each morning in honor of significant women who have influenced my life.
The reviews are mixed of course...various testimonies posted range from people who have called for the “Free CD” and received a bill for $519.00 and then taken to collection for not paying, to those who absolutely loved Lucinda’s 7-audio package and were looking forward to a slightly less-stressful Christmas.
You be the judge and have a stress-free day friends!
-tpg

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