The other evening, at a friend’s “3 Kings Celebration," I reached the state of perfect blessedness; achieving it by ridding my whole being of individual existence and simply absorbing my soul into the light of supreme spirit; extinguishing all other desires and passions, in order to be in an exact moment of great peace and bliss.
No, it didn’t occur because of yoga, meditation or organic herbal skin products;
Nor was it due to the following the North Star. This blissful state was not from the giving of frankincense, gold and myrrh; nor from the cheese and chili empanadas and pork in clay pot. My perfect happiness; the ideal condition of rest, harmony, stability and joy...My own personal Nirvana was achieved through a simple little beverage
called a White Russian.
A taste of paradise with the medicinal, hypnotic powers of an orgasm.
How I’ve lived for decades without ever partaking in a tumbler of this heavenly liquid is beyond me.
YOWZA! I think I met Jesus, right then and there, in my friend’s kitchen. And boy did his and my relationship grow with every sip. When the pitcher of this delicious “aid to stopping osteoporosis” was back in front of me; it was a second offering I couldn’t refuse. After two tumblers, I do believe I saw St. Peter and his holy tribe of angels all playing their horns beckoning me home…
This morning, I Googled the recipe, still struggling with the acceptance that I’m a White Russian Virgin. In doing so, I learned that not only am I out of the liquid loop, I’m also out of the flora and fauna loop.
White Russian Grow with Flowering Clones
This got me thinking about the time I heard Space 27 hammering and drilling in the middle of the night. The electric saws and pounding continued for weeks; always after midnight. When I couldn’t stand it anymore, I decide to check out the back of his unit one afternoon when he wasn’t home. As I climbed over buckets, tarps, hammers, nails and a few empty Corona bottles, I came across a large shed that was being built (without permits). I snooped a bit, as trailer park managers often do, and discovered weird and oddly placed electrical wires, small vents, and huge black canvases for curtains.
I now know that structure was a White Russian shed.
Careful man…there’s a beverage here.
There are various deviations of the original cocktail. A simple
splash of Coke and you get a Colorado Bulldog.
and then there’s all of these…
China White #2
2. Flaming Black Russian
3. Fuzzy Russian
4. Jake White Special
5. Pink Russian
6. Russian Cream
7. Russian Kelman
8. Russian Qualude
9. Russian Sunrise
10. Smooth Black Russian
11. White Cloud
12. White Dove
13. White Elephant
14. White Man
15. White Sangria
16. White Tornado
1. Albino Russian
2. Belle Melon
3. Black Magic Shooter
4. Black Russian
5. Blue Russian
6. Cappucino Cocktail
7. Double Fudge Martini
8. Liquid Coffee
9. Mint Russian
10. Mulatto Russian
11. Nutty Russian
12. Russian Nog
Now, although White Russians hold the obvious medicinal healing properties and health benefits,
I can’t drink them too often. No. No. No! But life without one every now and then might bring tears to your eyes in much the same way had you been seeing a psychiatrist for several months and one day he/she looks at you and says in a very quiet, professional voice, “No hablo ingles.”
That would suck. But I figure we’re starting a new year and we need to start off on a positive, adventurous foot. Try new things. Focus on each day. Practice living without regrets.
Reinvent ourselves.
Reinvention is a much-discussed theme in women's literature and women's lives, and the New Year is a particularly appropriate time to discuss creating a new you! We have such a plethora of great writers, from Jane Eyre to Anne Tyler to Doris Lessing to Maya Angelo…women’s literature and poetry have long proved so;
that reinventing, rediscovering, replenishing one’s self, right down to our little bitty souls, is a common thread-theme that keeps us filled with self-discovery, united and I suppose, whole. Women find ways to do this through various art forms in which we are passionate about, through our everyday actions within our communities, through educating and reeducating ourselves in order to reach our potentials; to reach beyond what is at our immediate grasp and into the realm of the unknown, the surprise; that which in intangible at first attempt.
Reinvention can even find us while standing in a friend’s tiny kitchen sipping
a White Russian for the first time at the age of 53.
When I think of reinventing or recreating, my head swirls around from shedding a pound or two or volunteering for a noble organization, to attempting yoga, or completing that writing or art project that’s been sitting for months…I also think of friendships and the nurturing of those relationships. I never thought I’d type these words, but I think Facebook is one tool we have to do just that;
Begin dialogs, worthy or unworthy conversations, with folks we see not so often.
I have reconnected with wonderful pals who I haven’t interacted with for ions, and though I can’t say I’d spend 24/7 with them (or them me), it’s been good. Real good. And it happens so randomly. Take the following Facebook interaction, for instance…
Tray: “Wow, butternut squash is pretty darn sweet.
I feel like I've returned to my 20's when Tam used to do all the cooking! Tahini, broccoli, sesame seeds....”
Vee: “Ahh...your 20's. Were they easier than these days of giving up caffeine, booze, meat, and addictive relationships? lol...maybe we should all eat butternut and return!”
Vee (again b/c she can’t shut up): “…or maybe you and Tam just belong together! lol. I'll stop now. Xo”
Tray: “Are you drinking a cocktail right now?”
Vee: “Just finished one (pinkie promise) and am munching on green beans and tofu (organic!) xxoo”
Tray: “I'm jealous. Not about the green beans and tofu, mind you.”
Kel: “That's how i eat all the time...”
Tray: “rolling my eyes icon inserted here. Lol”
Sche: “Hippie. Xxo”
Pyl: “Hey!! “S!”! How do you know “T”?! And vice versa ?! I love small worlds! Two of the coolest women ever. YAY!! :)”
Tray: “We used to be neighbors. Shared a duplex of sorts in Sebastopol.”
Tray: “How do you both know each other?!”
Pyl: “I met “S” at the Ren Faire in like '84 I think. She and her boyfriend worked with my boyfriend and me at the Roast Beef booth. We were like family :). Wow, such great memories...”
I think that initial connection was sealed at the roast beef booth. Yea, and now the reconnect which has so much possibility. But in all seriousness, there are days when I don’t feel like writing a card or picking up the phone. The whole phone-phobia usually hits me at night. I’ve been out in the world all day; chatting it up, interacting with the masses, smiling till it hurts…then I get home,
pet the little guy who purrs at me unconditionally, take off the bra, put on the sweats, walk around outside to assure myself that Nature is still my friend.
Then I flop on the couch (BAM! Phone-phobia) for an HGTV marathon. The last thing I want to do is pick up the telly, even though y’all are so cool and interesting to talk to. But what I do have energy for, after a long day, is to say “hey” on Facebook. And though I have to be careful not to get sucked into the vortex, which could lead some of us to starting our own chapter of "Facebook Anonymous," I do have some worthwhile interactions there.
I get the politically incorrect, sterile, unspiritual aspect of FB. Yet, I see its purpose and place in our ever-changing world. If it serves as a way to stay connected to your peeps or reconnect with those you've lost, then that might well be plenty. And if it gives those faithful followers a "jump start" at rediscovery, recreation, rejuvenating a part of their mind or heart that was idle prior, then so be it. And if a delicious sip of something new finds your lips, enjoy it!
And my little chickadees, if we remain stuck within the confines of the eggshell; how the hell are we going to experience the freedom of flying?
Na zda-rov’ye! (To our health!)
Za schast'-ye! (To happiness!)
~tpg
So glad I read this at work (don't tell anyone) because I got to laugh my ass off(inside)while sitting here! Thanks Val. And really I do appreciate the White Russian as well. Gives some of that warm, cozy, sweet thang from the toes to the top we all like so well....
ReplyDeleteOh, and the plants look a little suspicious to me and the name White Cloud rolls off my tongue a bit more. See you soon for a toast perhaps?
LOL indeed! Thanks for sharing your keen wit and personal outlook on life, it's a good one. Sometime when you're feeling especially adventurous try MY personal favorite, a black russian made with tequila! I guess black mexican wasn't politically correct so I've always heard of it as a "Toro Bravo", Ole! Love ya, V2
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