Friday, March 8, 2013

"Oh, My God!"

Thursday mornings feel like I have a lead weight attached to each of my bunny slippers. It's so damn hard to get moving after my 9-hour play date with these two.

Yesterday, we had a shitty day.  This had absolutely nothing to do with behavior or attitude; both of which were fairly close to exemplary.  But more to do with how many poopy diapers I changed:
3 EACH!  I am not shitting you. Do the math. 6 diapers filled to the brim, and me having to dump each one in the toilet before placing the diaper in the pail. Out of the 6 times, I missed the bowl twice. 
Once, it went on the seat and the other time, a portion rolled on the floor.
I wish I could tell you I'm embellishing, but I'm not.
This part of my job is not glamorous. So, what part is?

This part:

The Cousin is feeling somewhat flustered by the fact that she can't have her way. This is her recuperating after the tantrum.  This is when I sit down beside her, amiga a amiga, and begin my reasoning exercises; the ones that are positive and cheery; the ones that exhibit empathy and understanding for where she's at in this moment. Now that is glamorous work!  And you know what? Often times, it pays off. Because after you go that extra therapeutic mile, the good times really start to roll!

And roll...

And keep on rolling...

...Until the next meltdown. Actually, the meltdowns were minimal yesterday and I didn't really have to do too much damage control.  At one point, I was hanging out in the living room with The Cousin.  Sweet Pea had crawled into the "play room" or so we thought.  I went on "the hunt" and when I located her, it just came out, "Oh My God!"  The Cousin, who is always hot on my tail like a baby quail behind a mama quail, repeats "Oh My God!"  (Damn it. As y'all know, I try really hard to have a Martha Stewart mouth when I'm around them.) 
We bust Sweet Pea in the act.

So damn cute, eh? Those are black on white butterfly socks btw.
Would you believe me if I told you, we remove her from the crime scene, but I, due to may lack of experience on the job, forget to close the bathroom door and she, in Sweet Pea fashion, returns only to find the toilet brush much more interesting that the toilet paper. 

The rest of our day was spent indoors, thanks to the grandma who had the stroller and forgot to bring it by. THANKS GRANDMA! 
The girls actually found something much more interesting than slides and swings. They got into Sweet Pea's bag and started pulling out these things wrapped in plastic. I didn't really know what they were  until The Cousin gave me an education. 

"Boob pads" she said with an air of casualty.  

So, this is a boob pad.  Evidently, nursing moms place them in their bra when they are out in the real world, away from their little suckers, in order to not have large wet spots on their shirts.

Sweet Pea and The Cousin love these things! They line 'em up, count 'em. Sweet Pea tries to open the packets.  The Cousin enjoys playing "Peek-a-Boo" with one.

As 5:00 pm approaches, I find myself lying on the couch, very spent.  Luckily, I have this keen wisdom that my mama instilled in me; you know the wisdom that says, "Ride the peaks and valleys, baby" and somehow, like millions of nannies everywhere, I am able to remain strong (and awake) until the parentals arrive.  
Because when you're faced with the depths of extreme emotion:

Or the fearless feats of determination:

One must maintain her sense of poise and composure.  
And I do.

But, Oh My God!



  1. Oh the toilet paper roll you know they make little clips and other devices to keep kids and critters from enjoying that nonstop rolling fun! I think you're smarter to just close the door. And isn't it amazingly accurate that when they get quiet and you get that feeling to check on them that they're almost always getting into something they shouldn' they get quiet because they're absorbed in thought about this new thing or because they knowi it's something they probably shouldn't be doing and are going to get busted? All I know is that little children require so much attention and loving energy that it is truly exhausting taking care of them, and as usual in our society, because it is not glamorous and usually does not bring you fame and fortune to be a caretaker of children, it is greatly undervalued (EXCEPT of course by the parents and kiddos). And I also know that you are planting seeds of love and empathy and fun in these little girls' lives that will bear fruit long after their need for a nanny. Carry on, Nanny! Love, Amy

  2. I'm with're the golden wizard, the patient, long-suffering one...the cool nanny (most of the time) appreciated by two grateful moms, especially on days when you must remain indoors because the stroller is missing. Yikes! As usual, I was thoroughly entertained. Even the boob pads bring back memories.
    So now The Cousin has yet another phrase to add to her growing vocabulary. Just slipped right out, eh? No wonder! Astounding what little hands and minds can find to entertain themselves. Oh, and I loved the butterfly socks! Think they make them for big girls, too?