Thursday, August 29, 2013

Girls, Girls, Girls

This morning I am filled to the brim with gratitude that when Sweet Pea and The Cousin reach
"teen-dom", Miley Cyrus will be a washed up has-been, blahzey, a thing-of-the-past,
a complete yawn fest.  Are you f#!king kidding me? The former Disney star gone cheap-strip-club-disaster will never reach MY girls' eyes or ears or anything else for that matter! They call it "twerking" I'm told from my young, hipster sources. Here's the 411:
Twerking is a dance move that involves a person shaking the hips in an up-and-down bouncing motion, causing the dancer to shake, "wobble" and "jiggle."[1] To "twerk" means to "dance in a sexually suggestive fashion by twisting the hips.

 It's probably a good thing I'm not a breeder. I think I'd be like a prison guard with my own girls.
"No, honey. You can't go out past 5:30 p.m. on a weeknight and 6:30 p.m. on a weekend. But, there's a marathon of Mork and Mindy episodes we can watch together." or "I know it's 95 degrees out, but you're wearing a turtleneck today goddamnit!" Will Smith's family's expression when Miley started her baby-cakes-turned-pussy-cat-sex-kitten-nymph at the Kids MTV's VMA Awards  (KIDS! Dictionary please. PG13 anyone?) said it all.

"Dad, do you know a good therapist?"

Now I'm told this pic was during Gaga's performance. Hopefully, "gaga" will return to just plain old baby language when the girls reach their teens. Now, I know a thing or two about nuns, (wink) but this seemed to fall short of art, talent and fantasy.

"I'm hoping this will tantalize you with all your favorite catechism memories."

 Parents must be shaking in their boots these days, especially parents of girls. That's why when strangers approach Sweet Pea, The Cousin and I and say, "They are so cute!"  I cringe down deep where my guts reside and I follow up with "Most importantly, they're incredibly intelligent, creative and strong."
I witnessed shit like this way too often when I taught school. The girls are super cute, artsy and stylish. Give 'em a doll or a let 'em bake the cookies for the school fundraiser! But give the boys an erector set or a football helmet. This crap is still alive and well. I say, give The Cousin a building set and have her figure out how to design a structure. Give Sweet Pea the football helmet because she's gonna need it!

Speaking of the girls, I didn't see them this week, hence, the fork in the road with regard to subject matter.  But man a week without them is like a week without sunshine, so here, warm your hearts...
"Picnics are sticky and messy."

"Life is good, Baa Bee."

"I really liked it when I was one and you weren't around."

"Raisins are not dried grapes, Wallery, they are raisins."

So you see, I look at these two and I think, "strong-willed, smart, determined, capable, creative."
Then I picture them at 14 and I think, "home-schooling, turtlenecks, Disney movies, chastity belts."
I get it. I'm getting old, but if 2013 is Miley Cyrus, I can't f@#king imagine what 2025 will be.
Can you?


  1. You got that right... repulsive and reprehensible! Incredibly poor taste and total trash. I, too, am appalled and I appreciate your venting and getting it out there. Thank you.
    How have we come so far to stoop so low?

  2. Her daddy, Billy Ray, must really have an achy-breaky heart right about now! As if THAT song and his mullet weren't bad enough, now we must be insulted by his offspring! I admit I haven't seen the video, but actually I thought of Madonna in the 80's when I saw the photo of Miley. I think it's safe to say she's got some issues she's dealing with publicly. And every generation wants to shock the hell out of their parents' generation. But the real issue, like you mentioned, is that young girls should be able to grow up feeling strong and confident and have the opportunities to realize their dreams and potential. Thankyou for always bringing that to our consciousness through your blog. Love, Amy