"That Car is Beautiful, Wallery"

 

"That car is beautiful, Wallery. It is nice."
You know children are so cool. The Cousin said that to me on a walk we took in the morning.
She was referring to a beater '86 Corolla with torn, vinyl sun visors and large dents in the side. Walking the neighborhood with a one-year old and a two-year old is an art in and of itself. One likes to run (Sweet Pea) and the other likes to leisurely stroll and smell every goddamn flower on the block. And we definitely need helmets for the sidewalks. When one is vertical, the other one goes full-on horizontal.

Following our shadows

It's amazing how many changes occur in kids this age in such a short amount of time. I've been away from them for 2 weeks and Sweet Pea is saying so many words!  Of course, there's the usual: 

"mama" "dada" "baa baa" but she's become a walking dictionary overnight!

"tank you" "peeze" (She's polite as hell) "keen up" (my personal favorite) "mee ow" "woooof" 

"book" and her request these days, "cheez" (The kid's a human disposal)  Then, as if a miracle occurred, I've got her strapped in her highchair in the kitchen while I'm in the other room changing 

The Cousin's diaper.  Suddenly, I hear this voice yell out, "Baa Bee! Baa Bee!" 

I come runnin in and am greeted by a huge smile and a face smeared in banana ... 

"Did you say my name?!"  So, I'm now Wallery and Baa Bee and that's how the story goes.  At least for the moment.  Pretty cool, eh? And The Cousin is modifying her lifestyle as well. She's actually using her words, instead of her fists when she feels perturbed with Sweet Pea. She even offers up some lovin, now and then, when Sweet Pea's feelin down.

"Don't panic. This is a love hug not a choke-hold."

The embraces, the taking time to smell all the petunias, the thought that an old clunker of a car is beautiful...All of these things are simplistic reminders for all of us.  Appreciate the world.  

I needed that this week. And I needed them. 

 

"Nature's cool but where's the basketball court?"

 

"Smells delicious."

After doing a couple laps, we decided to change our mode of transportation.  This was quite relaxing for the girls, but gave the nanny a much-needed, but not necessarily desired, upper body workout. Pushing these two "bikes", one of which had a broken wheel, proved challenging.

"Wanna race?'

"Hey, I need to stop for fuel."

I always try to give it up for the team. And you would too. They are so worth it. Worth more than their weight in gold even at today's prices.  Sweet Pea was "spent" after the walk and ride. During her morning nap, The Cousin and I made good use of our time and got out the Playdoh. Hopefully, I have enough tech ability to attach the video of our playtime...

No, I do not. 

I made numerous attempts for over a f*@#ing hour to no avail. Sometimes I frustrate myself and there's absolutely no way out of it. I'm "tech-clueless".  

Photos will have to suffice.

"Don't eat it, Wallery. It's pretend."

"Blow out the candle."

When we look at life through the eyes of a child, we are humbled and clearly brought to the core of all that is important, and quite possibly, essential.  In their company, the pettiness and ugliness of the world dissipates and all we are surrounded by is joy and wonder. The Cousin believes in wishes and magic and pretend. She believes in Playdoh birthday cakes.  It's so cool how she teaches Sweet Pea the way to "pretend to eat the cake."  

Sweet Pea hasn't mastered the concept of pretend yet. Therefore, Sweet Pea needs an armed guard sitting inches from her when she handles the clay.

Sometimes, we just break all the rules. Rebels that we are. I probably shouldn't post these next pictures; kinda like letting the cat out of the bag. 

The recommendation is to give The Cousin her allotment of cereal in a miniature plastic cup and Sweet Pea a single Cheerio, one at a time, so she doesn't choke due to her "special eating style" which focuses on the cramming technique. 

"I love Wednesdays!"

"Do we have another box?"

And after one has a full belly, what better to do than exercise? 

"Pole dancing is great for the abs."

                                                                           
 Sweet Pea, along with her rapid mastering of the English language, has also mastered how to open the "kid gate". The box, which the gate came in, clearly states that it "should be a good safety device until the child reaches the approximate age of three."
 Bullshit!  They obviously don't know Sweet Pea.

This is a problem.

And on a lighter note, the parentals shared that they were finally seeing some progress on the toilet training horizon this last week.  Seems The Cousin pooped and pee'd twice in her Elmo toilet. 

So, I poured on the encouragement and eventually she said she had to go. We walked to the bathroom and as I started to pull down her trousers and remove her diaper, she sits down and states emphatically, 

"I go pee pee with my pants and diaper on."  

Works for me.  No toilet clean-up. She's also a fantastic "multi-tasker".

                                   

" I can do both all by myself."

 I gotta be honest. Things get a little crazy at times.

 

"Get out of my egg!"     "Make me."

And when they do, we resort to videos and food, something I swore I would never do when I was in the teaching program in college. That kind of parenting/teaching/care-giving was for those who didn't know how to interact and be present with children.

Food and videos. Lifejackets when seas get turbulent.

I know by this final picture, y'all might think I could easily handle three.
Y'all might wanna lay off the booze.

See y'all next week! Take time to smell the flowers and enjoy all the beauty around you!
~tpg

Lucky, Lucky, Lucky Day

Sweet Pea called in sick today. I think, though her parentals reported a 102.8 fever, she was faking it in order to have a day home with mom. Who can blame her really? Her mom is close to perfect, beyond attentive and drop-dead gorgeous.  I would have faked sick habitually had she been my mom.

The Cousin was higher than a kite on a summer day, when she heard the news.  I arrived and hadn't even put my things down, when she came skipping out of the back room, on her tippy toes no less, to greet me. As y'all know, sharing the nanny, or any adult for that matter, leaves a sour taste in The Cousin's mouth. Today's her lucky day. A pair of Aces.
The Lottery. And her way of showing it? She hands me every damn toy she owns: the cash register, the tower blocks,
2 baby dolls and several books.
"Let's play, Wallerey."  Her pronunciation of my name is changing; taking on a new sound-form.  Lots about her is changing. Her hair's getting longer, her speech more defined.  She questions everything.  The first time she asks the question, it's cute.  By the 6th or 7th time, it's borderline annoying!
"What are you doing, Wallerey?"
"I'm pushing you in the swings."
"What am I doing?"
"You're swinging."
5 minutes later...
"What are you doing, Wallerey?"
"I'm still pushing you in the swings."
"What am I doing?"
"You're swinging."
12 minutes later...
"What are you doing, Wallerey?'
"I'm drawing with chalk."
"What am I doing?"
"You're drawing with chalk also."
5 minutes later...

You get the picture.
So, today's just The Cousin, me and the phenomenal sunshine that rarely shows itself in Pacific Grove, CA.
We're in the buggy and out the door by 9:00 a.m.

"Sweet Pea! You can call in sick anytime!"

Kitty goes everywhere with us these days.  I end up holding her paw while The Cousin plays in the wood-chips or eats her crackers.  She doesn't want Kitty to be left alone on a bench or in the stroller.

Kitty is a pain in the ass on the changing table. Seriously, I have enough trouble maneuvering The Cousin, the diaper, the Wet Wipes without worrying if I get the excrements on Kitty.

"Wood-chips are The Bomb."

The park becomes our mutual Nirvana. It's so much easier with one. I can't drive this home enough. As much as I love that little shit, Sweet Pea, it's a piece of cake with just The Cousin. After a couple hours, we load up and head to the library for Toddler Storytime. We make our way through a crowd of about 20; moms, toddlers, toy dinosaurs, carpet squares. We find our place near the facilitator woman who has a tee shirt on that says, "Reading is Delicious." The shirt has a picture of cartoon-like children eating big slices of pizza with books sprawled around the kitchen table.
I find the shirt a bit odd, and quite frankly, ridiculous, but whatever.  When it's time to begin, the lady grabs a bumble bee hand-puppet and starts singing a jubilant rendition of "If You're Happy and You Know It" and The Cousin and I chime in.  I look around the room and see lots happy kids and lots of runny noses. After 2 very long stories (this lady hasn't a clue as to the attention span of a 2-year-old) The Cousin can't sit any longer and heads to the book crates.

During her "book safari", a woman looks at me and says, "Your daughter is so cute."
MY DAUGHTER!?  Love that.  Especially after multiple comments regarding my possible "grandmother status".
I must admit it felt just fine.
"Thank-you." I hear myself saying. These types of lies boost my ego in some superficial way.  Soon, The Cousin is starting to lose it. This becomes apparent when I tell her we need to go to the bathroom to change her diaper, and she yells "NOOOOO!!" in her "not-so-proper-library-voice" then goes sprinting down the non-fiction aisle.  I know it's quickly approaching nap time, but I don't lose my cool.
A quick diaper change and we're on our way.

It's difficult to make time for naps. We're busy girls.  We really don't want lunch either.
There's no time for it.
We are artists and artists need to express themselves. Period.

"Wallery, I'm painting sunshine."

And then come the questions...
"Wallery, can I touch this?'
"Yes."
"Can I eat this?"
"No."
"Can I paint the table?"
"No."
"Can I paint the paper?"
"Yes."
Our afternoons, like our mornings, are rich.
And then, as unpopular as it may be, we cram down some lunch-grub and head to the crib with some books.
I'm on my knees, praying,  for 45-50 minutes. I can almost taste the delicious silence that will soon be mine.

Like her, it was my lucky day.  The Cousin slept from 2:00 p.m.- 4:15 p.m.
Can I hear a SAH-WEEEEEEET!??!

And me? I'm feeling the luck and the love today.  Feeling the beautiful gift of having one kid, not two, and thinkin I just might have enough energy in reserves to stay awake long enough to watch Jeopardy when I get home.
Peace y'all!
~tpg

Happy Birthday Girls!

                                                               This kid rocks my world.

This one also.

  

Sweet Pea reminds me of all things raw and spontaneous that exist in the universe.
She's headstrong, yes, and determined; a "spur-of-the-moment" kid.
But she can also be so tender.
She loves flower petals, basketballs and dangerous appliance wires; not necessarily
in that order.
And she loves, no adores, her cousin, much to her cousin's dismay.

"Numero Uno, Amigos!"

  And guess who turned one last week?

"Look out world! I'm two!"

And guess who turned two?
It's birthday madness around here and we've got the energy to prove it!  Presents! Balloons! Singing! Sugar-hangovers!  It's all double intensity with the girls' birthdays only a few days apart.

I picked a bad week to give up coffee.  If fact, I  was clean of the stuff I call "God's beverage" for approximately 72 hours, then I arrived at The Cousin's pad and broke down.
I made myself a cup; one in which the color was that perfect caramel brown.
Those tea drinking, self-righteous-hippie-bastards, who profess to be living a good, healthy life drinking pints of green, white and black tea on a daily basis, do not have a one-year old and a two-year old in their care.  I'm back on tea this morning; tea and this roasted grain crap.
I wonder how long it will take until my partner kicks my cranky ass out of the house.  It's all a test for me. Is coffee what's affecting my stomach or is it all the other delicious toxins God created? Could be stress, says my doc, or a combo of several things that "women your age" get...
I'm thinking I could give it up for 6 days a week and then drink one cup every Wednesday, in order to be alert for my nanny assignment.  But, I'm not a very disciplined girl, never have been and I don't do much in moderation. Lesson not-yet learned.

So Bal-La-Lee partied with these girls like it was 1999, and let me tell you, they can party!
We started with a little chalk art; a personal favorite of The Cousin's ever since she met her neighbor buddy, Miles.

Then Sweet Pea took it upon herself to sample an appetizer.

"Yuck. Send this chalk back to the chef."

Next, it's run run run with the birthday balloon until it pops...which caused major grief that needed immediate consoling.

Happy moments before the Big Bang

Life is like that though.  One minute, you experience the thrill of running freely under a sun-drenched sky, green balloon in your hand and not a care in the world...

And then the next minute, you trip up or your special balloon suddenly pops, and life becomes one depressing shit hole in the blink of an eye.

It's times like these that we head to the "you-know-what."

"Dora the Explorer got nothing on me."

"I'm not saying Cheese"

Somehow the park takes all our blues away; melts every last one of them like sticks of butter in the noonday sun.  

Life suddenly returns to  "happy" and little women (and the big ones too) get very,very tuckered; 

which is always nice.

Sweet Pea defines her own nap time.  It is she and she alone that determines the exact amount of allotted minutes. When she's ready to rise, she's ready to rise.  The Cousin, on the other hand, slept 2.5 hours which set a beautiful record!

I sat Sweet Pea down for her afternoon snack.  Oh, did I mention?  She also determines how she will sit in a highchair.

"What exactly do you mean I can't sit like this?"

I dig her tenacity.  It's like a bulldog. Reminds me of so many persistent women I know and have known; all of which embody this incredible amount of strength and tireless determination.  

Hope she never loses it...

~tpg

"I'm Back" אני שוב

An ardent reader warned me; double trouble is hanging in wait.  Soon you'll have two again.
I must admit it's been a smidgen easier with just Sweet Pea these last few weeks. I'm either getting very old or 2 kids under the age of two is more exhausting than the Boston Marathon,
or both.  But readership, The Cousin did return.
She returned from The Dead Sea with rock salts, shells and a whole lot of bi-lingual gibberish; speaking English mixed with Hebrew and waving her hands around like a yenta.  Sweet Pea and I were perplexed to say the least.  We squinted and pretended to look interested, but really, we didn't know what the hell she was talking about.

She's back and she's clingy.  Very clingy and there's a part of me that digs it. I can't lie to you. I mean it feels fantastic to have her smile so big when I walk into her house. Then she reaches for me and says my name with such clarity and warmth.  And of course she wants me to carry her EVERYWHERE rather than walk.  Melts my heart into a puddle. And did I mention that I think she's gained a couple of pounds in her 3-week tour of the Holy Land?   I'm sure it was all the falafel and hummus she ingested. I guess she had some sort of melt down at JFK on the way there.   She evidently threw Kitty to the ground and then she threw herself down on top of her. Like "tantrum sisters" in solidarity, the two of them pitched a huge screaming fit.
It all happened as they were preparing to board. Right smack in the middle of the boarding line.
If I had been a passenger on that flight, I would've shot a glare at her parents that would have required sunglasses. Then, I'd pray to the Aviation God that she wasn't sitting near me.

The Cousin is almost two. Need I say more?
Her world envelops only a few "select" people: Mom, Kitty and Herself, and not necessarily in that order.  Me, Myself and I are where she's at...and there ain't no changing that.  The parentals are working hard to prepare her for what's to come. And what's to come is a doosie.
When the mom let me know, I wanted to pour myself a Vodka Gimlet at 9:00 a.m.
"I'm pregnant" she casually mentioned to me in between the Curious George theme song and instructions for the lunch time meal.  I about shit.  And after much coaxing and prepping, mommy asked The Cousin, "What's in my tummy, sweetie?" The Cousin replied, "Food."
Clearly exhibiting her denial.
Well, I'm in denial too. Big time. Obviously my threat to walk if there were ever 3, wasn't an effective birth control tool.
And then there's Sweet Pea.  She and I bonded in the last 3 weeks and we were used to our own special rodeo.  When her mommy dropped her off yesterday, the first words out her mouth were, "Well, she's been up all night sneezing and coughing. I think she's getting sick."  
Now isn't that f@*!ing fantastic?   Great.  I could see it.  Her eyes had dark little circles under them and her nose had that all familiar glossy fluid that runs freely down and becomes an integrated part of the mid-day snack.

She didn't let it get her down though. She held on for a good 8 hours, but in that final hour, the 9th hour when I'm barely coherent, she finally had had enough.

Wednesday was this amazingly warm day in Pacific Grove.  One of those rare days that comes along about once every 275 days.  It was fog-free, wind-free, cold-free; totally sunny-ass warm!  And the girls and I decided to do some gardening.
Sweet Pea digs dirt. Hell yes!  She just goes for it; hands, feet and mouth!  She's a girl after my own heart; not afraid to get dirty.  The Cousin on the other hand, has trouble participating in anything messy. If there's a piece of lent on her finger, forget about it.  She has to have it wiped off before she can enjoy herself. I know adults like this. They can't relax, dive into a project if their house needs dusting or a load of laundry is in the hamper.  The Cousin needs to feel organized and clean at all times.  You can only imagine how much prompting was needed to get her to shovel soil.

"Got dirt?"

"Let's see if I can dig the hole without touching the soil."

"Do we have any hand sanitizer?"

The Cousin is all about hygeine.  We enjoy brushing our teeth together and we always sing
"The Toothbrush Song"... When you wake up in the morning, it's a quarter to one and you want 
to have a little fun, you brush your teeth CHHHH...CHHH...CHH..."  
Here she is flossing.

She's not only serious about hygiene, but she is serious about being tech savvy.
I'm not shittin' you.
I purchased my first Iphone last week. Shut up. I know it's 2013.  My partner and I were in the damn store for an hour and 45 minutes because I was experiencing technical difficulties. The sales"boy" who was all of 22, was extremely patient with me. I'm certain his thoughts we anything but patient, however, he didn't let it show.  When we left with our new phones, her an Iphone 5 and me a 4S (whatever the hell that is) she was so excited she could hardly keep her feet on the pavement. And me?
I had a stomach ache.
Anyway, texting is a total wash for me right now. Locating messages, voicemails, attaching photos all feel complex as well.  But The Cousin assisted me with some apps and even the camera.  Speaking of the camera, here's two shots I took when I didn't intend to take any.

I also attempted a video and somehow turned the camera on myself instead of the girls.  So, for about 13 seconds, I was videoing myself, close-up. The Cousin was as patient as the young man at the store and that was most appreciated, but in all honesty, I haven't fallen in love with the "all-supierior-all-knowing-ever-popular Iphone".  Not yet anyway.
The world's changing readers, and I get that.  The thing is, I'm changing too. And part of my evolution is slowing down, smelling the roses, sipping the grape, reading the poetry, enjoying the music that's being played at grocery stores because I know all the words.  And yes, I did actually really like my 4 LG Slider phone! It felt comfortable and familiar like a typewriter and I loved those too!

I also like a good old-fashion picnic.

And a good old-fashion "tp-ing" a house.

Not to mention, a good old-fashion sit down at the table together for a meal.

And sometimes, just a good old-fashion nose picking.

Or an insistence of riding the bike our own way.

Whether you're old-fashion or a modern hipster, I think y'all agree that we just gotta
laugh about it.
So, I'll leave y'all with this 'lil ditty of a video. This is what's it's all about...
Truly I think so.
~tpg