Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The Sky is Falling...

I thought all our nation's whack jobs lived in my park.
Then I came across prophetess Cindy Jacobs from Texas who recently witnessed to her flock about the dead birds falling from the heavens above Arkansas. Cindy Jacobs, whose followers' demographics, according to, consist of those having an avereage annual income of 64 grand, average age 50, 93% Caucasion, 100% women...
and those who follow Tom Delay because God spoke directly to him to "rebuild the conservative base of the Republican Party." Cindy and her husband Mike, whom she clearly told God should be the prophet, not her, because he is male, founded Generals International in 1985. What began as a group of leaders gathering to discuss,intercede and rid the nation of corporate sin issues has become an international pulpit that receives and then delivers daily messages from God.

"Americans are disturbed and perplexed by the worldwide phenomenon of birds and fish dying by the hundreds and thousands. We have sought answers from scientists, professors, and psychics, but none of their answers seem plausible. I don't think it's fireworks, sonic booms, or pollutants that have caused thousands of birds to fall from the sky." preached the prophetess. "And I don't think it's a coincidence that this sign from God has occurred in Arkansas. The Lord has revealed to me that the repeal of "don't ask, don't tell", which originated in Arkansas by a former Governor, has moved Him to send a message."

Thank you Jesus! Someone has finally come up with a credible explanation: God is smiting the birds of the air and the fish of the rivers by the tens of thousands with one deadly blow from his gigantic celestial saber because of the current repeal.
If you don`t see a causal relationship between the repeal of DADT and these dead animals, that's proof positive that Satan is blinding your mind.
Of course this thought led me to another...Does God hate trailer trash? And if so, might thousands of birds hit me on the head or a tornado rip my mobile to pieces as I'm out doing my rounds today? So I sought answers and came across this actual letter from a little girl who lives in a trailer park in Georgia. It was posted in her church's newsletter. I do actually think this is "a sign" for me to heed and take caution.

Deer Pasture,
Me and my momma useta live in Pine Glen Luxury Mobile Home Park. We had us a reel nice singul-wide with a sattulite TV dish and a inflasion swimming pule and us and all are naybors wuz real happy and everything. But last month we wuz sleeping and a giunt tornaydo come in the middle of the nite & smasheded up all are traylurs and sucked my momma right out of bed and smacked up gainst are propane tank . And my bestest frend Danielynn got throwed into a crick before a trackter landed on top of her. I herd that traylers get recked by tornaydos all the time, so im just wondering for how come the Lord hates are guts so dang much.


Keep me in your prayers friends! Please take a minute to view Cindy's statement; the link I have posted for you...let's also pray that women won`t be inspired to wear the wacky outfit she's wearing in the video.
-Chicken Little
(aka tpg)

No comments:

Post a Comment