Friday, April 27, 2012

Enjoying the Little (and Big) Things & Blah, Blah, Blah

Even trailer park girls get the blues.  Mine hit me from behind early this week;
Originating from a variety of sources and resulting in the ever-hated, most-dreaded, writers’ block. 
I did what any normal whack job would do.  I posted a plea to my Facebook friends, asking for blog topics in time of such crisis, hoping to get the rev back in my engine.  I got 2 responses.  Which is depressing if you think about the number of peeps on my precious friends list..

“Earth day...overpopulation...reflection on global warming, lack of employment opportunities and as Angela says so pointedly, "blah, blah, blah...."

“Living life to the fullest with the one you love. Enjoying the millions of little things that make it clear why we love each other.”
Aww to both you cutie-pies and thank-you!
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am ever so grateful to Cynthia and Carolyn for their responses.
Hell, I’m just happy as a tick on a hound that they even read my plea, but I needed a bigger hunk of meat this morning. Something juicy.  Something I could sink my bicuspids into and chew on for a while.  Then, I turned on the mainstream news…

Vice President Joe Biden spoke at length in defense of President Obama’s foreign policy on Thursday. Referring to a famous quote by Theodore Roosevelt,
Speak softly, but carry a big stick”
Biden said, “I promise you, the president has a big stick.”

Hey, now! TMI Joe. TMI.  My only question, burning outta control like a fire flare-up on a bunch of pre-fabs is, “How the hell do you know that, Joe?”

Yesterday, Dorothy, the check-out girl at Trader’s Joe’s, responding to my debit card requiring a second slide through because it didn’t work the first time, and my pressing concern that my hard earned cash might be deducted twice,
Spouted, “It has to connect to work.”

Ain’t that the truth, Dorothy!!” I blurted out as the entire 5:00 pm checkout line burst into laughter.  Oooh, you could just see their imaginations swirling around the display of stacked four-to-a-box artichokes and winding through shelf after shelf of 85% Cacao dark chocolate bars.
It’s true that it does have to connect to work, but does it really have to be humongous to be satisfying and effective?

Seems the gentlemen think so or at least they’ve been conditioned to think so; that bigger is better and bigger is more powerful. And some powerful men think they can control women.  Now I’m not professing to know the length and circumference of Joseph Aloisius Ratzinger’s stick, but Pope Benedict XVI and his cronies are sure flexing "theirs" with the American nuns.  Seems these boys just had to form a committee and decide that American nuns “promote radical feminist themes incompatible with the Catholic faith."  They concluded that the sisters had contradicted church teaching on homosexuality and on male-only priesthood in public statements that "disagree with or challenge the bishops, who are the church's authentic teachers of faith and morals." 
YOWZA! Hail to the mighty Bishops, the authentic teachers and hail to their big sticks!  Seems their quiet, sneaky little investigation has been going on for 3 fucking years and what have they come up with?
The sisters aren’t submissively toeing the line to their standards and liking.

While the sisters have been quiet to respond, a former nun has a big stick of her own.
Mary Johnson served for 20 years in Mother Teresa’s Missionaries of Charity. She calls the Vatican’s harsh new rules for American sisters “disrespectful” and an “insult.”
 “The main complaint is that sisters are thinking for themselves. No one says it in those words, but that’s the bottom line:
You’re thinking for yourself and we don’t like that.”

Fitting, that exactly two years ago today, in 2010, a memo, written by Steven Mulvain, a Foreign Office civil servant was passed around.  One of Steve’s suggestions was that Pope Benedict endorse his own brand of condemns for his “stick” and the sticks of all men everywhere…
It's not a bad idea actually, although that might not only go against "church doctrine" but it might actually help curb the world's over-population crisis. Hmmm...

In case you missed the nutty nun news…

Let’s face it.  Men have been carrying big sticks since the beginning of time.

And of late, the news is still on fire with stories that back this theory regarding boys and their rods…
Ashley Judd’s “puffy, not pleasing enough to men, kind of face”
“Ashley Judd’s Puffy Face Explained” was a breaking headline in the tabloids on the recent rewind. Respectable news outlets such as HuffPo and MSNBC even joined in to debate if Botox was to blame for her "chubby" face.
The news sparked a viral frenzy speculating how much “work she got done” along with warnings that she “better watch out” because her husband is likely “looking for his second wife.” 
Some reporters called her a “pig” and a “cow”, labeling her as fat because of the fact that she was now a size 6/8. (How many of us girls know or have known a dude like that?)
The most troubling fact of all is that mostly women initially broadcast the conversation about Ashley’s face.  But as Ashley writes in her now infamous rebuttal, “That women are joining in the ongoing disassembling of my appearance is salient. Patriarchy is not men. Patriarchy is a system in which both women and men participate.”
How about Julia Louis Dreyfus once being told that her “curly hair wasn’t fuckable?”  
It’s an election year and I think women are being placed in the media spotlight to benefit the two gentlemen running for the highest office in the land. (The one man who has a big stick and the other one who has a big dog in a crate on top of his car.)

Trailer Park Manager; It’s Not a Man’s Job

Three men applied for the management position at the park when I put forth my application.
Tommy in space 6, Eliseo from space 27 and Rafael in 10.
All three collectively agreed, ‘It’s a man’s job.’
Tommy had plenty of “plumin experince” and was “always home” because he was “waitin to get a settlement of boo coo bucks” from the company that had fired him.
Eliseo was bilingual, which was a plus, but had been just caught and cited for having a rabbit breeding business behind his unit days prior to him submitting his application for the manager position.
And Rafael…Oh, Rafael.
Well, for starters, he usually had tequila on his breath early, as he headed out to work. His position?
Long-term substitute second grade teacher in a neighboring community. 
I got the job; clearly a known fact.  Maybe I’m the one with a big stick.  Or maybe guys are just knuckleheads who just think with "theirs."  Obama brought the term back recently when referring to the Secret Service team caught with their pants down. 
“A couple of knuckleheads shouldn’t detract from what they do. What these guys were thinking, I don’t know. That’s why they’re not there anymore,” Obama said.

Years ago, a group of gal pals and I were returning home from the Arco Arena in Sacramento after a night of women’s basketball.  As usual, I fell asleep on the ride back.  My partner, unannounced to a snoozing me, kept a straight face and proceeded to tell the carload that I was unfortunately born with a single testicle. No joke.
When I woke up, a bunch of sad, sympathetic and perplexed faces were all staring at me.    
She’s a keeper, my partner. 

I’ll let you decide the fiction and the non-fiction of today’s blog.
Blah, blah, blah and live life to the fullest with the one you love ('fo sure!) and God save the American nuns and all that jazz.


  1. Well, for somebody who's been "under the weather", I'm glad to see your funny-bone has healed (pun intended.) You really circumvented the globe with that one, tpg. If you can be that entertaining with "writer's block", look out,'re in for a treat. No blah, blah, blah in this blog...nosiree!
    On another note, I DID respond to your request for ideas...mine must have fallen through the cracks and lies on Facebook's cutting floor. Never did a mighty fine job without my suggestion....seems those nuns must be on your side, eh?

    1. BT...As always, thanks for your faithful readership, and btw,I do believe tse nuns are on my side..had a few nuns at my side over the years but that's another story! lol.

  2. Simply excellent, provocative and totally entertaining, as always!

    1. Awwww Susan! I'm so appreciative of your adjectives! You take care now! tpg


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