Friday, January 4, 2013

Boogie Down With Your Bad Self

Only mothers can see the beauty in their babies when snot is running down their little noses.

A nanny cannot see any cuteness.  Any charm.  Or any hope for her own healthy future.
The only thing a nanny sees is a gooey, runniness and the prospect of getting sick.

Sweet Pea, I was informed upon her arrival at 8:00 am, "is not contagious".
Well, that's a f*@#king relief.  "But she is really congested, and although the mucus is clear, there's a lot of it and you'll have to keep small soft wash cloths, kleenex and wipes close by you at all times"... 

Actually, there are new, progressive tools-of-the-trade for situations such as these and a simple box of Kleenex is now considered "old-school". 

Grape Flavor Boogie Wipes

The Nosefrida

Now the first "tool" is self-explanatory but the 2nd deserves some explanation.
So, according to the moms, this is a Nosefrida.  I hate the name as I think it brings disgrace and humiliation to my heroine, Frida Kahlo. But according to the website, the Nosefrida is Swedish, not Mexican, in origin.
So, this state-of-the-art snotsucker is evidently used in many countries.  In ours, it's equipped with a filter (thank God) at the end closest to the adult doing the sucking.  But in some countries, there is no filter.  You get the visual. Basically, the grown-up inserts the pointed tube end in the child's congested nostril and places the red end in their mouth and sucks.


This nanny ain't going there! No way.  No how.
It's not so bad using a cloth or Kleenex. Sweet Pea hates it though and uses brute force to try and move away from the cloth, but if I take her by complete surprise, I'm usually successful.
"Successful" is such a pathetic stretch.
It used to be that successful meant finishing the book before the book club night, completing my rounds at the park without "incident",  making it through a 24-hour period without eating any white flour or sugar.

Now, my life is successful when I can wipe a baby's snot, in a quick, sneaky sweep, before it ends up in her mouth, her hair or my sleeve.

In honor of Sweet Pea's 'condition', I taught The Cousin the song "Boogie Fever" and we did the "Boogie Dance" as well.
As I've mentioned, I have to be super careful of what I say, as The Cousin is a goddamn parrot these days. When Sweet Pea sneezed and the 'goods' shot out about 2 inches, I almost slipped with a few choice words.  

Actually, all things considered, the day went quite smoothly.

Here's a recap...

Yes, I'm sporting The Cousin's rooster beanie.
Sometimes, you just gotta take one for the team.

1 comment:

  1. Loved the photo with the rooster beanie and the one of Sweet Pea clapping...that one is enough to melt a mother's heart (and even a nanny's!) Hope Sweet Pea's sniffles are gone by this week and you can do the Boogie Dance for real. Till next week, TPG! See you then, back home in Texas!